Thursday, November 23, 2006

Another thing about pain
[Waiting in Vain @

The thing is, I just realized exactly a day ago that the worst pain EVER is not being headbutted by your nephew, but by pulling your calf muscle at your sleep. Well, it all started when I was suddenly awake by the twitching on my leg, (yknow, the type when you unconsciously moved something, and your brain is kinda late to respon) and from previous experience I know what would happen next.

In the next split milisecond my mind was literally screaming something like, "Oh god, no, no, no, no, please no, no, no, NO" and the last one happened exactly when I couldn't control my leg, and it twitched on its own, pulling a muscle (although from the pain it might as well be 10), and sent it searing with a pain so intense last time I literally sobbed, begging to some imaginary deity for it to stop. Pathetic, I know, but it happened so many times that it stopped being funny and right now I just hope with all my puny life I would never EVER experience it again.

And every time it happened, I had to be awake a few short seconds before I realized what was going to happen, but never had the time to stop that involuntary twitching/mysterious movement, that sent someone like me, who only ever cried from depression, sobbing like a pathetic idiot. I mean, it hurt way more than the time I accidentally bumped into the corner of a table with a force (and on the part) that would render the male species unable to breed, which happens quite numerously. I think there's a reason for me to be born a female; me being a male would mean instant death [to my lower parts].

Anyhow, I've been dreaming of being killed/stalked by a killer, falling (the typical one where you wake up with your heart racing), and seeing my mom when she was healthy way too much lately. I wonder what's up...

God, I hate those being killed/stalked by a killer/escaping from a killer/watching people being multilated dreams. It always gives me the creeps when I woke up.

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Me

Name: Cynn
Age: Young. Very Young.

An outlook of my life, fueled not by creativity, but by the sheer need to vent. This is me, a bit depressive, a bit cold, sometimes suicidally hyper, but always longing for something I don't have. Feel free to walk my life, feel the indecisive, fleeting world of a teenager struggling to be better in her makeshift world.

Actually, I think I prefer you don't.


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Rhapsody vol II and III (thanks to sis)
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A dog Bonbon!


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