HAHAHAHA
[Waiting in Vain @

I ART GOING TO JAPAAAAAN!!!

Well... not anytime soon, but hey, it's decided that I'm going there, envy me. I've always wanted to be fluent (as now my skills are only anime level), and hey, I've got the chance.


0 musings

Awkward Day at the Restaurant
[Waiting in Vain @

Chinese restaurant, to be precise. Imagine yourself entering a small restaurant full of Chinese speaking full fledged mandarin, and you were there alone, not being able to speak it, and looking awkward standing there like an idiot. At least that was what happened to me. I almost decided not to eat there, but I braced myself and entered. And boy, eating alone was awkward. Especially if you don't really look Chinese, nor speak the language. See? The complexity of being half. I don't look Indonesian to Indonesians, neither do I look Chinese to Chinese. Like someone said, I guess I look me. But sometimes it's awkward, damnit.

Labels: Rant

0 musings

El Weirdo part 2
[Waiting in Vain @

I wonder if somehow I managed to have a big fat label, "Target for weirdos!" stamped on my forehead that's only visible to weirdos. Highly possible. This time it's not merely an old guy with an incomprehensible foreign accent, but a foot fetishist, weird old guy with an incomprehensible foreign accent that might as well be a mental patient. No, I'm not exaggerating. Mjm and I were walking down the road to god knows where we were walking, and this old man suddenly snuck up between us and said to me, "You have big feet, do you boyfriend cuddle them?" Or something similar to that effect. I can see her kinda snickering behind me, and I'm sure my face either contorted into a, "WTF!?", "Did he just knock his head?", or, "Damn you calling my feet big!" expression. But I guess I was too shocked to even bother playing face-contortion. I proceeded to say politely, that no, I don't have any boyfriend, and he said something back about scrubbing my feet hard, and using one to place on my imaginary boyfriend's knee, and another on his other something, I didn't understand most of his sayings due to his weird accent.

After finishing with me, he decided to make Mjm the target, still on about her feet, and STILL mentioning my feet doing obscene things with my imaginary boyfriend. After budgering us for some more, with me listening politely with my nice, fake smile, he left us alone.

...................

My theory on that particular old man:
1. He's a perverted foot fetishist
2. He's old, thus senile
3. He escaped from a mental asylum

I vote for 3.

And I was still wondering why he decided to pick on me in particular when mjm's shoes size is only 2 sizes smaller. I guess I really carry that stamp around.

Coming tomorrow: (Or in 12 hours)
Humping poles, kissing statues, a couple I want to bash so badly, disturbing images involving a guy, goats, dogs, and cows.

Labels: Rant

0 musings

Tick-Tock
[Waiting in Vain @

45:24 minutes till I finally get my hands back at WoW after a long period of no meeting. I simply can't wait to play my dear rogue again- even if that means having to re-explore places again, since I've quite simply forgotten everything, including the locations of the instances. Hey, but at least I still know my brainless hotkeys, spam 2-2-2-2-2-2-2-3-2-2-2-2-2-3-repeat, ss+evis=no brainer rogue combo. I won't deny that. Since now I'm playing with broadband, I'm thinking about retraining to be a backstabber- gonna be fun. Whee!

On the other hand, I spend pretty much most of my day staying pissed, due to a certain bitch I had the pleasure to spend my sunny Saturday with. Details will follow if I can regain control of my temper again.

Labels: Rant

0 musings

Survey thingy
[Waiting in Vain @

Ah... a survey from cute lil' mjm, I cannot resist now that she've mentioned my name directly.

Seven things that scares me:
1. Alone in the dark after watching something scary
2. A long haired girl suddenly crawling out of my monitor
3. Hell
4. God (if he really exists)
5. My depression
6. Being stuck in a silent hill-like world
7. Human-like dolls

Seven random songs at the moment:
Please don't ask me about music, I'm direly isolated from them.

Seven things that I like the most:
1. Food
2. Coffee
3. My bed
4. Money
5. The net
6. Layouts
7. My school uniform (yes, I'm weird, I know that)

Seven important things in my bedroom:
1. My pc
2. Bed, duh
3. Clothes (not really, it's strewn all around the floor)
4. My secret *snip* collection (not much, but it'll grow)
5. Blanket
6. Pillow
7. Money

Seven random facts about me:
1. I can't remember the last time I laughed from being happy
2. I act moronic
3. I'm depressed 2/3 of the time
4. Suicidal
5. If I show concern over people, it's faked.
6. I wish the world would end.
7. I like being alone better.

Seven things I said the most:
1. Pardon?
2. Dunno
3. Yeah, riiiight
4. You wish
5. No, really
6. I'm NOT emo!
7. Geez

Seven things I plan to do before I die:
1. Waste all my money on games and play till I drop
2. Eat anything I want
3. Pull the meanest prank I can
4. Bash people I want to bash
5. Hit someone I hate
6. Sleep
7. If the death is painful, I'll shoot myself in the head first

Seven friends I want to pass this on:
No one, really.

Labels: Blog

2 musings

Record Outbreak
[Waiting in Vain @

A month ago my record of the latest waking time was still 1 pm, and that was when I was sleeping later than normal. Today my record was broken by my surprising late, alas, that was an understatement, shall I add VERY late waking time? I imagine it being so if I had to triple check the watch in my living room, then my wristwatch, then my PC (I would also consult my phone watch if it's not lying there dead and useless), until I can finally believe that I've not only broken my record, but I believe my whole family's record too. Yes, I slept for 15 hours straight, waking up at the ripe time of 3.30 PM, by then my lunch time was over, and I missed my appointment with my psychiatrist. My plan on grabbing lunch on a Chinese restaurant was also badly ruined.

I still can't believe I woke up so darn late when I slept at a mere 12 o'clock, the day before I slept at 3 AM, and woke up at 7. Talk about unnerving. Even though annoying is more precise. Now I'm going to spend my whole holiday like the dork that I aspire to be, holed up in my room, chatting to people I've never met...

I think my body decided that today was a payback time for the times when I forced it to stay up well beyond its sleeping time. I'm sorry, I'll strive to sleep in time now, just don't wake up at 3.30 PM again, I beg you.

Labels: Rant

0 musings

El Weirdo
[Waiting in Vain @

And my definition of the term, 'weird' is pretty blurred lately, whatnot with me sharing a blog with a rabid panda, or being stalked upon randomly (last time still brought chills). This time, it's a harmless old guy. Here goes; I was sitting on some brick wall leading to some run down (inside is VERY modern) apartment, because of a stomach ache (walking + drinking milk + full stomach = bad idea), when this old crickety spanish guy pain-stalking slowly walked towards the direction I'm sitting. It seemed that he was taking his time walking, as I tried to divert my gaze to anywhere but his, as I have this strange feeling he's looking at me somehow. Then, unexpectly he said 'how are you', to me? I was like, 'huh?' since his accent is very spanishy and bad, mind you. So after repeating a few times, I said simply, 'Good', while imposing a fake (I'm good at those, really) grin. Then he said, 'Good girl, I like', and proceeded to stalk away mumbling some Spanish gibberish.

First expression that came to mind: o_O?

What. The. Hell. Exactly, what the hell? What kind of person approaches a stranger and ended up saying, "Good girl, I like"? It'll be appropriate if I'm a 5 year old sucking some popsicle, but gosh, I barely LOOK 15. Old people these days... *shakes head*

Up until now I still fail to grasp that old man's meaning/intention. The world can be full of mysteries sometimes, and most of them originates from the pieces and bits of conversations you have with people.

Labels: Rant

1 musings

Another Layout...
[Waiting in Vain @

Another layout... yet AGAIN. Geez, I don't know why I'm so obsessed at creating layouts. Well, not really, but I am. Obsessed I mean. I just like figuring out how those css code works, and I must say I'm pretty good at it after 1 whole day of staring at the codes riddling my monitor with my trusty coffee at hand. I'm gooood. I just need to learn how to map images, and make those overlapping div layer, you know, when you click at something, another div layer loads in place of the original one? Yeah, it'll come in time, I guess.

I still can't figure out how to get rid of that stinking nav bar though, it's horrendously visible to anyone who uses resolution bigger than 1024 x 768. Sucks, I know. Someone help me...

Labels: Rant

1 musings

My Aspirations...
[Waiting in Vain @

My life goals for the future: (and its percent of completion)

Study in Japan for 2/3 years - 30% completed. Persuasion done.
Be a complete nerd aka dork - -10%, gotta get rid of my undorky attire.
Propose to Dan of Brasov in 3 years - 20%, 2 years to go, and a few thousand buck to save up (and no, don't ask me if I'm serious or not, most likely I'll find something better to do meanwhile)
Be a good kid and study lots, and never skip school - -30%, just... Impossible.
Get rid of this depression - -50%, see above.

...Hey, I guess I really don't have any worthwhile goals except the first one. Sad... I know.

Labels: Rant

0 musings

I dreamt...
[Waiting in Vain @

I remember I dreamt, a sickly sweet dream, where I was laughing, in a world that would, always, only exists in my dreams. It was a simple thing, really, a day of a family outing, both my parents are there, and other people I cherish --perhaps, but she was well, and it was all that mattered to me, the highlight of that dream, like every other dream before it. We were at the sea, not close to what they call paradise, it was murky green, with jutting rocks on the shores. I was happy in that place, laughing merrily, not because of a stupid joke, but from utter happiness, a sensation I haven't felt for as long as I know.

----And then the dream ended, I was still laughing, but it quickly changed into a bitter recognition that it was only a world inside my dreams. I can live with it- those momentary bliss divided sparsely by many nights, shortly, in that place, before I'm sorely awaken again.

Even now I still remember the last line I uttered when a disfigured voice asked about something I couldn't quite catch.

"I had lots of memories..."

Labels: Depression

0 musings

Random chat
[Waiting in Vain @

Random chat I had with a certain too crazy to be true person. Here goes:

Cynthia: You're still young now though. Although I fail to see the logic behind running around naked and being in love
cass_ro91: it's a way of showing it
cass_ro91: DUH
Cynthia: Ok, you're weird
cass_ro91: (wow, darkblade has FOUR +3 rings )
cass_ro91: why am i weird?
cass_ro91: did noone run around naked in the rain to show you their love for you?
Cynthia: Running around naked is weird. Especially if it's a way to show love. You're weird
cass_ro91: i don't think so!
Cynthia: You're reeeallly weird. Go to the doctor
cass_ro91: no
cass_ro91: i made the last one retire
cass_ro91: ... and the priest next to him lock himself in the monastery in prair for the rest of hi slife
Cynthia: Gaaaah, get away from me, lunatic!
cass_ro91: no
cass_ro91: i love you
cass_ro91: want me to ... ? eh?
Cynthia: Eh?
cass_ro91: run?
cass_ro91: around?
cass_ro91: naked?
Cynthia: You did
cass_ro91: and i'll gladly do it again
Cynthia: Oh god
cass_ro91: what?
cass_ro91 : i know you'll feel flattered
Cynthia: More like it'll disturb me for life
Cynthia: Actually, wear a barbarian
Cynthia: 's loincloth next tiem you do that
cass_ro91: no
cass_ro91: it won't be naked
cass_ro91: i'll skin myself if you want
cass_ro91: then i'l be even more naked
Cynthia: You'll be naked and DEAD
cass_ro91: nope
cass_ro91: just bloody
cass_ro91: and pains agonising me
cass_ro91: a lot
Cynthia: Then you'd be dead from blood lost
cass_ro91: you're not listening
cass_ro91: i can bathe in medicinal alcohol to stop it
cass_ro91: DUH
Cynthia D.S: *Pats* I know life must be tough for you... I also mourn for your loss of sanity
cass_ro91: what sanity?
cass_ro91:
Cynthia D.S: Oh, you never had one to begin with...

Yeah. Mourn for the poor guy, people. For his soul is bound to damnation by his utter lack of sanity...

Labels: Humor

0 musings

Old Posts...
[Waiting in Vain @

All of my old posts are located in My old Blog, so if you wanna gain insight on how my life is before this, feel free to drop there. I might just republish some random crap I like there, so yeah...

Labels: Blog

0 musings

Template
[Waiting in Vain @

I just... had to write this. My vain struggle on giving my blog an at least decent template. It's tiring. It's frustrating (for a html n00b like me), it's giving me headaches (from lack of sleep), but it's FINALLY done. FINALLY, after 3 hours of painful wrestling with codes that didn't make sense. The coding itself took 30 mins, but understanding the code took most of that painful 3 hours (being spammed by Gazzy certainly didn't help).

Looks a little plain, huh? Certainly, it was a layout I fetched from my old folder, most likely created 3 years ago and then scrapped before it took any form whatsoever. Kinda nostalgic... reminds me of when my life was better than this. But behold! This ain't the time to be emo, this is the time to rant about my blog! So yeah... I basically snatched a coding for the template, altered it around, and sticked it here. Not without getting through hardships of submitting it first. I guess Blogger Beta doesn't allow any change towards the template (html wise), since I tried MULTIPLE times to upload the code there, but it always says something about the language script, so after trying out xanga instead in frustration, and didn't know how to edit the template there, I decided to try plain ol' blogger back instead, since I read something about the beta version not allowing template change thingimajig. So yeah... I almost shouted when it worked. But of course I didn't, because I'm the type that never shouts. Ever.

The blog still needs a lot of work... but bear with me until I can get up with something creative to say.

Labels: Blog

1 musings

Name: Cynn
Age: Young. Very Young.

An outlook of my life, fueled not by creativity, but by the sheer need to vent. This is me, a bit depressive, a bit cold, sometimes suicidally hyper, but always longing for something I don't have. Feel free to walk my life, feel the indecisive, fleeting world of a teenager struggling to be better in her makeshift world.

Actually, I think I prefer you don't.

Archives

September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
March 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007

Labels

Blog
Contemplation
Humor
Life
Pets
Photos
Rant
School

Wishlist

Toshiba Gigabeat 30g
Hair coloring - very light brown
Better marks
Rhapsody vol II and III (thanks to sis)
Better headphones PX100!
WTB: Friend
Wrist tattoo
A dog Bonbon!

Misc

Coded and designed by me. Rip and I'll castrate you with blunt things. Image used courtesy to me, edited using Photoshop 7.



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